A Carnival Of Hijacked Holidays, VI

Hello, and welcome to the sixth edition of A Carnival Of Hijacked Holidays.

Some of you may be readers of my other blog, Slugdog... er... Suldog-O-Rama. If so, then you probably know that I'm taking a few days off to recharge the batteries, etc. That being the case, you should know that I'm not going to go on at length here. I'll just say a most sincere "Thank You!" to all of those who have contributed to this issue and tell you that the next issue will be out on Friday, March 16th - just in time to get everything you've ever wanted to get off of your chest about Saint Patrick's Day... well, off of your chest, I guess.

As usual, I present the submissions according to their date of submission. First come, first up.

Old friend Reb Chaim QoHoton starts us off with Holiday Of Trees. Now, I must admit that I never knew that trees had their own New Year, let alone that there was any argument over when that New Year should be celebrated, so I've learned something. I don't know what practical use I'll have for this education, though. I suppose next Tu B'Shvat I could buy funny party hats for all of the ficuses in my neighborhood. Since I like Fig Newtons so much, I think this would be a nice gesture on my part.

Next up, another frequent contributor, Mad Kane, gives us A Valiant Guy's Guide To Valentine's Day, in which she gives advice on how to make your sweetie's day a memorable one and, by extension (if that isn't too much of a double-entendre), your own.

The marvelously titled I Am Screaming And Punching Myself has another take on things. In Maybe One Is The Safest, Most Sanitary Number it is posited that you might be lucky if, on Valentine's Day, you get to skip the whole dreadful thing.

My Simple Trading System sends word that Mother's Day is already being flogged, in Mother's Day Marketing Already Started.

Next up, Babylune gives us But I Want A Lot, wherein her toddler pushes for Easter to be more like Christmas.

(There are some interesting quotes from an NPR article, which in turn quotes a UNICEF study, and one part of which I simply must comment upon, otherwise I wouldn't be me. To wit...

"The United States and Britain were lowest overall in the category of behavior and risks, meaning that American and British children are more likely to use drugs, drink alcohol and be sexually active than children elsewhere."

LOWEST overall? I would think that would put those kids in the highest category - and not just because it's a crummy pun. If they're the most likely to use drugs, drink alcohol and be sexually active, then they're having the best time of any of the kids on the planet. That used to be my idea of one hellaciously successful weekend.)

(Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kids should be straight and jerking off, instead of getting all screwed up and screwing. I know the politically correct thing to say, but that doesn't mean it's going to be said. Sorry.)

Finally, that despoiler of today's youth, Suldog, presents As Per Request, from which the cartoon at the top of this page comes. Knowing that, you would be a fool to go see more of them, especially considering his cavalier attitude towards dangerous substances and practices.

(As a matter of fact, it could be argued that none of these cartoons would have been drawn without at least one abuse of the three previously-mentioned abusive practices. This pretty much proves one side of the argument, although probably not the one I'd like.)

And that is most decidedly it. Remember to go to Blog Carnival to send me your submissions for the next edition. See you in March!